disappointed?
yes.
heartbroken?
yes.
angry?
maybe.

i dont know how this can happen.
like i said.
i thought you were smart enough to stop by now.
but i guess i was wrong.
was it wrong to think that you might do something right?
was it wrong to hope that you would go your path in the right way?
was it wrong?
i can't force you.
what would you have felt if it was me.
if i went back to what i used to be.
how would you have felt?
oh right.
you would have felt nothing.
so whats the point of me saying all this?
maybe i still hope that you can change.
for the better.
hoping that you can stop.

and miss sheryl koh!
what happened to going to church.
to going to school together?
to seeing each other and taking so many picutres?
to everything?
have we even celebrated twelve years together?
i don't even think you'd remember.
oh well.
i'm glad you like the necklace.
its crystal by the way.
expensive shit.

dinner with mummy yesterday was to die for.
had so much of good food that i though i put on like 3kg!
had pepper prawns.
and crabs with cheese and stuff.
yummy yummy food!
after so long of eating coffeebean food.
hot cook food with variety seems like such a good choice.

well this week is going to be a damn busy week for me.
classes on tuesday and thursday.
like hello?
who studies about coffee and tea?
the art of coffee and signs of tea.
haha.
thats damn stupid.
but i really dont mind.
so long as there is eye candy in the class.


lexine!
i did not make you emo!
i promise!
when i'm done with school!
which is like 15 more days.
15 more lessons to be exact.
so yeah.
we can go wild shopping.
remember holland village?
yeah.

training was damn fun yesterday.
like whooo!
fannie was entertaining i must say!
yeah.
and i guess i've learnt alot alot.
so its back to the class room on tuesday and thursday.
so here was the conversation on the way home.

hidayah: you know ah, if your boyfriend suck right? it will be bigger and your butt will be firmer.
me: huh? wtf? suck what?
hidayah: boobs la! if your boyfriend sucks your boobs it will get bigger and your butt will be firm!
me: how the heck does sucking make your boobs bigger?
hidayah: cause of the hormones la!
me: thats if you have puberty la!
hidayah: really meh?
me: ya la! my boyfriend suck so many times and i don't see my boobs getting bigger.
that was a joke by the way.


nessa is doing all she can.
to make everything work.
school.
home.
church.
work.
claire.
yes, claire needs some working on.
i swear.
she is insane.
or maybe i'm just too busy to make anything work.
friendships.
relationships.
everything else.
so yeah.
forgive me if i seem uncaring to you.

i miss the old LW.
where everyone just contributes.
they need a little bit of work.
and then it would work.
but they have learnt.
and i'm proud of them.
and i dont think i can ever stop loving LW.
i dont think i can ever stop trying for them.
pris, audrey, amanda and i have tried so hard to build it up.
lets just hope that it can continue going strong.

we can only hope.


and through all the days where i can't pick myself up.
i thank dunfu.
for making me smile.
and being there when i need someone the most.